too late
by stuart1993
Summary: she could have told him her feelings, but now was too late


And there they were, standing in front of a gravestone, neither one of them knowing what to do, what to say or what to think, when you are a cop you never know what life holds for you, there is no way you can predict what is going to happen next and now they were all feeling and living the price of this job.

It was already late, they were there for at least six hours, she couldn't move her feet, she couldn't control her tears, she didn't want to control her tears, she didn't care that her friends, who had never seen her cry, were there, watching her collapse, she could barely breath, the lack of oxygen on her brain was making her dizzy, everything around her was nothing but a blur, all she cared about wasn't there anymore, all she cared about was buried 5 feet underground and all she cared about had a name, one she would never forget of, and all she could do was remember how many times she could have told him her real feelings and she didn't, how many times he had showed her his feelings for her and she did nothing.

Taking a moment to breath she closed her eyes and started to remember that fatal day

FLASHBACK

_It was an unusual and calm day, their shift was almost over, 30 more minutes_

"_So, are you going to the Penny tonight or what? It's been 4 weeks since you and Luke broke up, I think it's time for you to have some fun" he asked her, hoping she would say yes_

"_Hmmm, I don't know, I'm thinking about that. Why, do you miss me there?" she couldn't help the tease_

_He thought carefully about his answer, should he tease her back or should he go for the truth? "ok, I do miss you, actually I miss the real you, I miss your laugh, I miss the sparkle in your eyes, I miss your incredible happy mood in the mornings, I miss all your stubbornness, I even miss your silly games like 20 questions, and I really want to punch Luke because he is the bastard that stole that from you. There, I said it". He looked at his right to see if she was ok since she didn't say a word, he could see her processing all he had said , so he thought he should continue with his monologue "it's not like you didn't know that already, c'mon, I think you know about what I feel for you for a long time, and I'm willing to waiting patiently for you , 'cause I know that you need time and space, and that's what I'm giving you, I just hope that one day you will feel the same for me" _

_She was almost crying, she didn't expect him to tell her those beautiful things, she was about to answer him, tell him what she truly felt, but a call came from the radio, it was a car accident, they got on the scene 3 minutes later, getting out of the squad car they saw a woman and her kid stuck on the wreckage._

_It was easy to free the woman, she wasn't hurt and she was able to help them, the difficult part was going to be the kid_

"_Please, help my son, he is only 4, help him, don't let him die, please, please" the woman pleaded between sobs_

_The little boy was already unconscious, his head was bleeding and his two legs were stuck "look, I'm not gonna let him die, I promise to you, I will remove him safely and alive, but I need you to be calm now, stay with my partner until the paramedics are here ok? Now tell me his name and his favorite cartoon"_

"_His name is Jake, and he loves SpongeBob" _

_When he was about to go for the boy the car started to get on fire, Andy grabbed his arm knowing that it was too risky to let him go back to that car "c'mon Andy, you know I need to go there, otherwise the kid will burn alive, I'm going to be fine, don't worry, just stay here with the mother, I'll be back in a minute" he gave her his charming smile to reassure her that he would be fine and left_

"_Jake, Jake, hey kiddo, I know it's hard but I need you to stay awake ok?" the kid nodded "good, now I'm going to remove you from here, I know it hurts but I promise I'll try my best to make it quick ok? But why don't we talk about sponge bob while I work here Hun? Who is your favorite one?" Jake seemed a little lost but he agreed "I like SpongeBob, he makes fun noises and he is nice with everybody, I think everybody likes him and you?" "Well, my favorite one would have to be Patrick, he is a great friend and he loves food, just like me" _

_After 5 minutes there was a lot of smoke all over the car, it was almost impossible to see what was happening and it was becoming harder and harder to get the kid out, but he couldn't give up, the mother of the boy was there, waiting for her son, everybody could hear her screaming for her baby boy and that was giving him strength to continue his job, it was incredible hot in there, he was sweating more than ever, his arms were heavy, and he couldn't think straight, the effort he was doing was just over the limit for a normal human being "get out, it will explode" and that was when he released the boy's legs, he put an arm behind Jake's knees and the other one around his back and got out of the car, holding a scared boy on his arms. But he could sense something was wrong, when he was only 10 feet away from the car, it exploded, but before it did, he placed the boy on the ground and bent down to protect him from the explosion and from parts of the car that were flying everywhere._

_Seeing that none of them were moving Andy rushed to see if they were all right, the boy was on shock and his head was still bleeding, she signaled for a paramedic to take him to the ambulance, but when she realized that her partner wasn't responding to her commands she panicked, she checked his pulse but it was almost imperceptible, she screamed for a paramedic to help her and they came in one second, they loaded him on the ambulance and headed to the hospital, but she couldn't be with him, she had to stay on the scene, she just prayed that he would be fine._

_After two hours on the scene, Andy headed back to 15, apparently Frank wanted to talk to her, she went to his office and sat down, waiting for him to begin_

"_Ok Frank, what do you want? I would appreciate if you just make this quick because I need to visit my partner, I need to know how is he, I need to see him and talk to him" she was very unquiet and nervous, she wanted to be there for him and not here at the station_

"_look McNally, this is not easy for me, but It's my job, so, there is no easy way to do this, I'm really sorry to tell you, but I'm afraid you won't be able to talk to him anymore, he is dead, looks like a piece of metal hit his head when the car exploded and he tried to protect the boy and honestly, everybody is shocked about the fact, including myself, I don't know what to do now, I don't know how things are gonna be without him around, he was my best officer here and one of my closest friends, and I know you two had a bond and I will give you the time you need to put your head together, you are dismissed now"_

_END OF FLASHBACK_

She opened her eyes expecting to see that everything was nothing but a nightmare, but it wasn't, that was real life, her real life, Oliver placed a hand on her shoulder and hugged her "hey, I know this is hard for you, but there was nothing you could do to save him, you know that, right? This is not your fault ok? So don't blame yourself" she sobbed harder and harder, the pain she was feeling was extreme, he wouldn't be there for her anymore, the only person she truly loved was gone and she didn't even had the guts to tell him that, he was gone, and he died alone, thinking that she didn't love him back, but she did, and she would suffer for the rest of her life for not telling him the truth, nothing would be the same without him, no one could replace him, she knew she would walk through the black penny and she would search for his eyes and he would never be there anymore, she knew that she would never see those dimples again, she knew that his locker was empty now, and it wasn't because he was undercover and he would be back in 7, 8 months, it was because there was no more Sam, he was nothing but memories now.


End file.
